When you’re single and successful, it’s easy to attract people with a hard hat and shovel. Here’s how to spot and avoid gold diggers in Singapore.
The gold digger is one of the most dreaded creatures in romance. Male or female, these entities pretend to like you, all the while leeching off your money.
Here are ways to avoid attracting gold diggers in Singapore.
Choose the Right Places to Meet Potential Partners
Some places attract gold diggers more than others. For example, if you hang around in high-end, pretentious clubs where the drinks cost upward of S$50, then obviously you’re in a zone with a lot of gold diggers: that’s precisely the kind of place they’ll go to, as they know anyone who goes there can support their desired lifestyle.
Some places will gold diggers tend to congregate are:
- Expatriate enclaves, such as the bars in Holland Village or the pubs at Robertson Quay
- Dating or matchmaker agencies that screen you based on wealth (gold diggers will join these and state high income as a top requirement)
- Websites that highlight themselves as a service to meet successful, or highly qualified people
If you keep meeting people in these social zones, there is a much higher chance of attracting gold diggers. Try to socialise outside of nightclubs, and in more everyday settings like the park or suburban mall.
Note that this means stepping out of your comfort zone. You may have to approach prospective partners on your own to start conversations, without the aid of gimmicks like buying them drinks.
Test the Waters by Refusing to Spend Money on Them
Politeness, along with Singapore’s conservative social customs, means you will probably pay for the first date. In fact, Singaporean men generally tend to pay more on dates – that’s just the way it is. But while you can’t avoid that, you can control the degree of spending.
Try taking your partner to less expensive places. See what happens when you suggest a hawker centre rather than a restaurant, or taking public transport instead of driving or cabbing. If they’re really interested in you, this will seldom make a big difference. But for the gold digger it’s an instant turn-off.
Women can also be victims of male gold diggers. The bad news is, it’s harder for them to use this tactic. Many male gold diggers pretend to be okay to pay at first, seeking to leech off you only after you’ve formed an emotional attachment. All you can do is be on your guard.
Spot Differences Between Their Background Story and Lifestyle
One of the surest signs of a gold digger is when he or she complains about money all the time (the lack of it, to be specific). Despite that, the gold digger’s suggestions and activities are all expensive. They’ll talk about vacations in Europe, designer watches, and take Instagram pictures of their latest bags and clothes.
Chances are, these people aren’t just gold diggers with you. They’re gold diggers who are conning multiple people at the same time.
Normal people with money problems are extremely hesitant to spend. They nervously suggest cheaper places for dates, and panic at words like “overseas holiday”. That’s because they’re calculating how much money they’d need to bring.
The gold diggers will never hesitate, as they’re bringing NO money (they’ll be using yours). So be wary when the gold digger moans about having no cash, but seems to have lavish ideas for entertainment.
Don’t Mistake Entitled Behaviour for Gold Digging
There is a vast difference between being a spendthrift, being entitled, and being a gold digger.
A spendthrift just has poor impulse control. If you put your foot down and insist on budgeting (something they probably need in their lives), they won’t love you any less for it.
All gold diggers are entitled people. An entitled person expects to be served; they may behave like the quintessential prince or princess. However, there are entitled people who are genuinely not interested in your wealth; they just want to feel like you put them first.
(Which may, ultimately, be just as bad gold digging).
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By Ryan Ong
Ryan has been writing about finance for the last 10 years. He also has his fingers in a lot of other pies, having written for publications such as Men’s Health, Her World, Esquire, and Yahoo! Finance.